i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
How's work?
Spinning.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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