he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
