White coat. Heels.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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