We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
