i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
