should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
