we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
