Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
