Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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