I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
