She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
