Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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