If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
