You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
