I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
