Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i may or may not be watching the land before time
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
