I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
