My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize