the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
