I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Moan for me like Helen Keller
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
