There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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