: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The air taste purple.
Randomize
