He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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