I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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