Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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