Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
