No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
