Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Found the puke drawer
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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