all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
