are you still at the devil's house?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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