I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize