Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize