sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I think a kid would responsible me up
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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