I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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