I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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