I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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