All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
