I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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