Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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