Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
