At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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