He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
