and i looked up. we had an audience...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
