i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
