just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
