One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
