problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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