I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
