we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
