giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My ass is underappreciated
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
