YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
