just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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