the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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