I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
