I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
