Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We left the knife in your bed.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
