HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i wish my penis had a tongue
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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