The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
