do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
