i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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