thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
